Always without warning...

We needed to run out to Sears tonight to price some ranges for the kitchen at our property in Jackson. We made sure that Jayden had his bath, dinner, and medication prior to leaving in hopes of avoiding a seizure b/c he hadn't had one all day and we still haven't verged off of this daily seizure road just yet. He was in a good mood. Talking on the phone to Santa and running about singing songs. We got in the truck and he put himself into his carseat. A song came on the radio that both he and I like so we started singing that. When we pulled up to Sears and Mike turned off the truck (causing the song to stop), Jayden told him "turn it on!". When the song went off, we all proceeded to get out of the truck. Jayden climbed out of his seat and walked over to the door so I could get him out of the truck. As soon as he jumped down, he was begging me to hold him. I thought he was just being a little lazy and just wanted to be carried so I joked with him and said "You are half my size. Why don't you hold me?" He kept insisting "Hold me Hold me Hold me!" I didn't pick him up (which is now breaking my heart) so he turned to his daddy and pleaded for him to hold him. Mike held his hand and we continued to walk through the parking lot. Jayden was whining so I reminded him that Santa is watching. Jayden shouted back at me "No!" I asked, "So you don't want Santa to bring you any toys?" He shouted "No!" I said, "Well that's not nice of you so you need to stop shouting at mommy ok?" and he said "Yes ma'am" By this time we were in the store and he just kept whining. I reminded him that we were stopping for ice cream after the store so he needed to behave. Then he looked up at me with the saddest eyes, filled with tears, and said "Mommy, I scared!" This is always our clue that he's about to have a seizure so I immediately picked him up and tried to help him to slow his breathing b/c hyperventilating can bring on a seizure. He relaxed for a minute but then the seizures started, right there in the appliance section of Sears. The associate gave me a seat and I had to take off Jayden's jacket and his shirt right there in the store b/c he overheats when he has the seizures. He screamed and grabbed at the back of his head and yelled "Mommy!!" It was awful. We couldn't leave until the seizure was over, so I sat there consoling Jayden and my husband was able to get help from the associate (while taking several breaks to come check on Jayden). The associate offered a glass of water b/c when the seizures stopped Jayden was pale and sweaty. Unfortunately, he never became alert enough to even drink the water. We did get him to answer some questions though and to tell us his name, so he was conscious. We carried him out to the truck and put him in his seat and he said "Mommy? I sleepy." I told him he could go to sleep and he sure did. It was his bedtime when we got home so I decided not to arouse him and just tuck him in. He was awake by then, but very very groggy, and he was able to help me take his clothes off. He told me goodnight and I love you. As always, the monitor is on in his room.

This is our life. It can go from being a very good day to being a horrible day in a split second :(