6 years ago today...

One of the happiest days of my life!!

Cousins

Jayden and Alivia. Alivia is my sister's daugther. She is 3 months younger than Jayden. My sister and I were so excited when I adopted Jayden and we knew that our kids would be close in age. We just knew they would be the best of friends, just like we are. We were so hopeful. Unfortunately, it didn't start out that way. They did play well as infants, but as they grew older Jayden experienced developmental delays and behavior problems that affected his social skills. Due to his sensory seeking issues, he plays VERY rough. He doesn't know of another way to play although he has gotten so much better this year. He is also very uncoordinated, so playing games like tag are tough for him b/c he doesn't know how to run without running into people. And when he runs into other kids, it scares them. Alivia was scared of Jayden. She always thought that Jayden was trying to hurt her, so she stayed away from him. Whenever we would get them together to play, Livy would stand to the side and just watch. We would give Jayden reminders on playing gently and he would bring a toy to Alivia and she would run from him thinking he was coming to hit her with a toy. I don't know how it felt for my sister, but it hurt me to think that my niece was afraid of my son. I didn't like that she was afraid and couldn't enjoy herself when he was around, and I didn't like that he was misunderstood. Don't get me wrong, I know that Jayden will often be misunderstood b/c of his issues, but when I can, I want to help him be understood...especially when we are talking about family. At 3 yrs old, both kids are at the age where they can understand to a certain degree, so I had a good talk with Jayden the past few times he's been over to play with Livy or she's come over to play with him. I reminded him just before walking through the door that Livy does not wrestle and she does not like to play rough. He would say ok and I could actually see him attempting to play nice with Livy. Now, with Alivia, I knew it was more important to have a good talk with her to help ease her fears. I told her that Jayden does play rough and at times, he may scare her, but he truly doesn't mean it. She said "That's ok!" :) It's only been a few weeks and now they ask for each other. We all went out to diner last night and Livy came over to play for a few minutes before we went to the restaurant. They played with the play kitchen, taking turns cooking. Jayden gave Alivia his Ironman toy to play with (gasp!!). And at one point, he went to his toy box and wanted to show her his Buzz Lightyear toy...She happened to be standing right there when he grabbed the toy and slung it around very quickly and the plastic wing hit her on the head. She grabbed her head and said "Ouch" and her mom immediately told her "It's ok Livy he didn't mean it" and I immediately told Jayden to remember to be careful and that we should play with the stuffed Buzz instead of the plastic one so no one gets hurt. He is a rough guy, so we have soft toys for playdates ;) Jayden put Buzz away and then turned to Alivia and did the sign language for "sorry" and gave her a hug. Then off we went to dinner and they had a blast. They played in the waiting area and Alivia shared her HUGE imagination with Jayden. When dinner was over they didn't want to go their separate ways. Jayden actually woke up saying "Where Yeeyah??" :)I am so very proud of his progress and proud of my niece for actually overcoming her fear so quickly.

Caffeine Withdrawal!!!

I can't even believe this, but I think I'm experiencing caffeine withdrawals! LOL! I honestly don't think I even drink enough coffee for that to happen, but obviously I do. I usually have 1 cup of coffee every morning. For some reason (I don't even remember why) I decided to skip it this morning. By 12 noon, I was feeling sluggish. Jayden went down for his nap and I took that quiet time to work on my contact list and work towards my goal of becoming a director with my business. I sent out a few emails, made some calls, and then I was just incredibly tired. I went to lay down for a few minutes, but of course, the minute I was dosing off guess who woke up? YEP! So I went upstairs and got in bed with him. He played along for maybe 2 minutes, but then he thought it was more fun to pry my eyelids open. I took him to the playroom, turned on the cartoons, and sprawled out on the futon hoping he'd play with his toys and wacth some cartoons for a few minutes. Well, he did play with his toys. He kept making me food from his play kitchen and bringing it to me, demanding I eat it. Then once I was done he demanded I eat more! LOL, so no nap for me. I just finished my conference call and my eyes are barely open!! I'm going to bed now and I will be drinking coffee tomorrow morning!

2009 was a great year...

Despite all of the issues thrown our way. These pictures prove that through it all, Jayden is still a happy little boy and a blessing in our lives!



















So here's to 2010...may it be a year filled with health and growth for our family! Have a Blessed New Year!

Laid back

We decided that this year we will not be driving to New Orleans to spend Thanksgiving with family this year. This is the VERY first year that I will not be seeing my parents and the rest of my family on a day when the people I'm most thankful for is them. It's tough, but it really wasn't a hard decision for me to make. The decision was based off two main factors: money and Jayden. It costs us $80 round trip to make the drive (which actually isn't that bad), but we'd have to make the drive all over again next week for Jayden's MRI and EEG at Tulane. Considering it's almost Christmas and Jayden's birthday and his party is right around the corner, it's just not in the budget to travel to New Orleans twice in one week. Also, my family is HUGE! HUGE! HUGE! Seriously huge. And we like to all have Thanksgiving dinner together. So imagine a family of 50+ people (and I'm not counting my great great uncles and 4th cousin removed. These are aunts, uncles and 1st cousins and their kids) all seating at tables that are lined up like cafeteria tables very close together. All talking at the same time. Laughing. Utensils hitting fine china. Babies crying. Kids screaming. All sensory overload for Jayden. Last year was horrible for him and we were just beginning to notice that something just wasn't "right" with Jayden. So now we know what isn't right, so it wouldn't be fair for us to purposely put him in that situation. Also, there are a few in my family who just do not agree with his diagnosis. One of them is my really close cousin, but she is VERY opinionated. And maybe I am just uber sensitive (okay I admit, I am VERY sensitive) but it hurts to hear people tell me that I'm babying him and I need to let him grow up. Or that he's a sissy (yeah my uncle told me that at the reunion in August). Or to have other people feeling like they need to step in to help me discipline and they yell at my child, making him go into a fit of rage for me to attempt to calm down. To them, he is just a bad child. And that hurts. So I'm not putting my child, nor myself, through that this year. We will be spending a quiet Thanksgiving dinner here at home. I haven't decided yet where we will go for dinner b/c I'm not a big Turkey and stuffing eater but my hubby is. Cracker Barrel will probably be the equivalent of having dinner with my HUGE family, so that's out! What I do know is that I will enjoy my day with my little family of 3 and thank God for blessing us all with each other and with our health. Have a happy holiday everyone!

Doing a happy dance

Woooo, I have had such a WONDERFUL week!!! Sure we've had a few incidents, like Jayden waking up from his nap and opening his bedroom door, then opening the front door...and walking outside into the street!!! I just so happened to be in the guest bedroom and saw a little boy out of the corner of my eye. Thank goodness for being in the right place at the right time huh? We now have doorknob covers in place. My husband and I have both been locked out of the house this week by the same little boy! Thank goodness we both were home at both times to let each other back in! LOL! Oh and the said little boy has also picked up a bad word and uses it appropriately. But hey, it's all typical of a 2 yr old little boy. Certainly things we can laugh at, but we try hard not to laugh in his presence!! Now on to the good (GREAT!!!) stuff!

First of all, I cannot stress how happy my husband and I are that we can finally have dinner as a family. I actually look forward to dinner now. In the past (very recent past!), I admit to going to bed without dinner b/c I would lose my appetite over the screaming and crying coming from a child who simply did not want to see any other food on his tray other than french fries. It was a very stressful situation. Like I said in my last post, he is really accepting his gluten free foods now. He loves his bread and I love to sit there and watch him eat it with a smile on his face! It makes me so happy to see him enjoying bread again b/c I know he loves it. He now comes running when he smells something cooking in the kitchen. He runs straight to his booster seat and yells "HELP ME!!" because he wants to sit down and get ready for his serving. This is an entirely different child people!! The other night I was getting ready to put some cinnamon rolls in the oven for my husband and I. We always have to have our snacks at night after Jayden is in bed. So I thought he was in bed, but he came running to give me a kiss goodnight and just as he ran in I was busy being baffled by the fact that there were eight cinnamon rolls in the can, when usually there are just 5. So he ran in and I said "Eight?!?!" Jayden saw the picture of the rolls on the can and immediately said "Mmmmmm, EIGHT!!!" and ran to his booster!! LOL!! I put the "eights" back in the fridge and told him we would eat them tomorrow. Well, all week he's been asking for eight, so I'm on the hunt for some GF cinnamon rolls for him. HEHEHE!! He's too cute.

Yesterday, we drove out to Birmingham to spend the day with my best friend and her husband and their 6 month old son. I also planned to take pictures for them at theBotanical Gardens. We did not expect Jayden to be on his best behavior and we were prepared for the worst. However, my best friend is an occupational therapist and is used to dealing with kids with special needs and behavioral problems. We got to Birmingham and met up with my friend and we headed to Red Robin for lunch. I sat on the end of the booth, prepared to walk Jayden around the restaurant and to the game room area once he started to act up. Well, I never had to leave the booth. I actually got bored waiting for him to act up! He took pictures with my camera (cute pictures too!) and everytime he happened to get a person in the picture he'd yell "I got you!!" very loudly. But it wasn't disruptive at all, so we let him have his fun. Besides, we were in Red Robin and they love kids. Jayden had the grilled chicken on a stick and when his food came he ate quietly. He chewed on the chicken and then would spit it out. I think it was too tough, but the fact that he tried eating it was enough for us. He devoured his fries of course and impressed my BFF by showing her all of his signs he uses during dinner time, and how politely he uses them...he makes sure he wipes his hands off on his shirt before he signs! It's not polite to sign with dirty hands you know! lol. We were even able to sit for about 20 minutes after finishing our meals and just chat...UNHEARD OF!! He didn't have one.single.fit. I was one proud momma. So then we headed to the Botanical Gardens for pictures. My husband had Jayden and they stayed off to one side playing while I took pictures. We worried that Jayden would just hop in front of the camera and cry for me if he saw me doing anything without him. Well he showed us...he actually assisted me! I am often found lying on the ground when I take pictures of babies. Well Jayden saw me on the ground, squealing and calling the baby's name to get him to smile and Jayden felt that he could help me. He ran up beside me dancing for the baby, sat on my back and called the baby's name, and even said "CHEESE!!" LOL!! He was the PERFECT assistant. You should see the eye contact I got from the baby once my little helper joined me!





After the pictures (which were a huge success) we headed to TCBY. Jayden had an orange sorbet with sprinkles and he was in heaven. By now he was getting tired though so he exhibited some of his selective hearing traits...hehehe! But never did we have to put him in a time out or tape him to a seat ;) Once, when the baby got fussy, Jayden ran over and started teaching him sugn language. Oh boy was that cute. He really wanted the baby to sign "dance" and to dance at the same time. That takes a bit of practice though.

When we hit the road to head home last night, I had a renewed sense of peace...and patience. This wonderful week with Jayden was just what I need to refill my cup of patience. This may sound mean to you if you haven't had to experience what I experience 24 hours and 7 days a week of bad behaviors, but now when he looks up at me with those sweet eyes, I can remind him of what a good boy he has been lately and how proud I am of him, as opposed to smiling at him but crying on the inside b/c of what a bad boy he had been. My husband and I have been talking about how well he's been behaving all day today. I love it!! The Dr was telling us that we would never be sure how much of Jayden's autistic behaviors have to do with the untreated celiac disease, but if this is not some type of phase, I would think it's safe to say that it had alot to do with a bad stomach. Don't get me wrong, he still has his issues, mainly the social anxiety and although he is talking more, he still has a significant speech delay, but that's where the other good news comes in...

We received a letter in the mail Friday stating that our insurance approved us for the ECHO program, which will pay for Jayden to receive ABA therapy here in MS! We were worried about that b/c they will only cover us until my husband retires in Jan and we were having a hard time getting the last of the papaerwork filled out to get the ball rolling on the insurance coverage. In the letter they state that Jayden's insurance is officially active and we have 90 days to complete the paperwork (which I know we will have completed by then), but for now he can start therapy asap! This makes me so happy. I know he will be okay b/c I'm already seeing positive strides from him with just the strict diet change. We are finally making our way out from behind these dark rain clouds and starting to see some sunshine :)

Updates

My poor blog. I've neglected it, and my readers. I'm so sorry. Life is finally starting to get back to something that I can call "normal". The entire month of May seemd to be an extremely sad blur. I still can't believe that my cousin is gone and I still cry from time to time, with no warning. It's so painful, but I know he's in a safer place now and we will all be okay. The house is still sitting on the market. Showings have slowed, and I'm really not complaining b/c if I'm being honest, the house was in no condition to be shown for this entire month. I even pulled the lock box inside (reminder to put it back out today!!) so that no realtors would have entry in case we were away. I'm still not feeling 100%, but this week I've forced myself to fall back into my routine. Having a clean house has helped with that. I've decided, though, that I need to see a Dr about the way I've been feeling. Tired, emotional, heavy periods, unbearable joint pains (mainly my knees), hair loss, and 10 lbs that I put on 2 months ago out of no where which is a big deal for me b/c I have such a hard time putting on weight and this appeared out of nowhere. Also, my face has been really puffy lately and usually that only happens when my allergies flare, which isn't the case now. I've been blaming all of this on stress and planned to just ignore it, or maybe just go to the Dr and ask for something for depression since I do admit that I have ALOT on my plate right now. But now I'm wondering if it could be my thyroid. Because of my endometriosis, my GYN in New Orleans kept a close eye on my thyroid, but I haven't had it checked since Katrina, so it won't hurt to have it checked out. I see the Dr on Tuesday.

My husband is seeing a multitude of Drs as well. He's had tendonitis in his wrist for nearly a year now. He hasn't been faithful with wearing his wrist brace, but it still bothers him so much so he was referred to a sports injury clinic, probably for PT. He also has a firm knot that showed up suddenly under his chin 2 weeks ago. At first we thought it was an ingrown hair or clogged hair follicle, but it isn't tender to the touch. So I thought (and still think) that it's a swollen lymph node, but his Dr doesn't think it is. In fact he said "I really don't know what that could be." and gave my husband a prescription for an antibiotic. Wow. I hope it's not anything bad and I hope the antibiotic helps, even though he has no symptoms of an infection...

Now Mr Jay man! He is a mess yall. My baby hardly speaks any English anymore! He uses his sign language and speaks Japanese! NO LIE! "Hi" and "Thank you" have been replaced with "Ni Hao" and "xiexie" (which sounds like shea shea). So every morning when I go into his room, he greets me with either "A morn" (good morning!) or "Ni hao!" and whenever I give him something he wants he says "xiexie!". Too much for me. I'm glad that he does at least understand what those words mean. It gives me hope that he will eventually learn to use his words soon. As of now, he's had yet another regression with speech. Well, not really a regression, just that he's fallen into more of a "mimic" stage, as opposed to independent speech. It's almost as if he has to be coached now to talk. He cannot answer yes or no questions, but he will repeat the last word you say in your question. So "would you like to eat?" is answered with "Eat!". "Would you like to play?" is answered with "Play" and "would you like some ice cream?" is answered with a very excited "OW CWEAM!!!" and the most enthusiastic signing I've ever seen for ice cream! LOL! Speaking of which, he's getting some today (100% fruit sorbet). So I do get him to say more words by adding new ones to the end of questions. Although, in reality, that is not considered "talking", but simply repeating. But hell, I'm not a speech therapist and I really want to enjoy my son and not spend every hour of the day being his therapist. It's tough.

Wednesday we meet with the developmental pediatrician. The first meeting is just for my husband and I. J will be home with my mom. I assume that she will be able to tell us what we are dealing with after that appt b/c we are the only two who see the worse of J's issues, 24/7, and I doubt that she will see anything but the language delay once she meets him. That is unless she plans to meet us in a very loud restaurant or in Walmart on the 1st or the 15th. Otherwise, I think the meeting with my husband and I is the most important and we can get some answers next week. I've prepared myself for the worse, but I know that my husband hasn't and if we are slapped with the "a" word next week, it will hurt him. But I am glad that I've already allowed myself to grieve the loss of that "perfect" child I dreamed of raising and I accept J for who he is and whatever it is he is fighting with and I am prepared to help him in anyway he can. By being prepared, I will be able to stay strong (as strong as possible) to hold my husband up and to fight for my baby for the care he needs. I'm hoping for a written diagnosis by next week. That may sound awful, sorta like I'm hoping that my child has autism, but trust me that's not the case. The problem is that J has an obvious problem that needs to be worked with, and unfortunately for him (and us), he is not a priority without a diagnosis. So a diagnosis will hopefully turn these tables around for us and make it a tad bit easier to get him help and into a preschool that can offer him the services that he needs to live as normal a life as possible as he grows up to be the man I'm raising him to become. Mainly, I want him back in Early Intervention ASAP. Like yesterday. As he gets older, I'm noticing more behaviors popping up...temper getting worse, repeating instead of speaking, and now a complete lack of expressive language. I can't help but think that some of these behaviors wouldn't have popped up if he was still getting the therapy, but there's really no way for me to be sure. What I do know is that if he was still in therapy, I would have his therapists here to see the new problems and to tell me and show me what I can do for him. Another thing is our trip to Disney is coming up soon, in August and I want him to have the best time possible, considering his sensory issues. Last year, Magic Kingdom was just too much for him. Last night I let him wear his weighted vest to a restaurant and it certainly offered a calming effect and he did extremely well. Even sat still the entire time while eating. So on my own, I believe I've learned that the added weight and compression helps to calm him in scary or overwhelming situations, sort of like how I calm him when I hug him real tight when he's scared and the weighted vest looks much better than the choke hold he usually needs to be put in to calm him down! LOL :) Kidding, sort of...he WANTS the pressure! So the weighted vest will accompany us to the parks, but there is no way that I expect him to wear 2lbs of weight and the vest over his clothes in 100 degree weather. No way. It will become a last resort. I'm hoping that we can get other pointers to make his trip more enjoyable. I do know that we can get a letter from the Dr explaining his condition and we could get him a special needs pass to skip the long lines, which would be a life saver b/c heat, crowds, loud noises, and waiting will set him off!

I guess as we notice his behavior getting worse, strangers in public notice as well. We no longer get the sympathetic look from other adults. You know the looks they give you when your child starts to scream and act up b/c he couldn't have a candy? The look that says "Awww, I've been there and I totally understand!"? Well, we don't get that look anymore. Instead, when Jayden starts screaming a very high pitched, shrill scream that will seriously wake the dead, and honestly makes EVERYONE look our way, or when he slams himself to the ground and then deliberately bangs his head, or when he throws everything off of a table in a restaurant while screaming, we get looks (scowls actually) that say "That child is out of control!" or perhaps maybe "She needs a parenting class." When they look at me and shake their heads and frown, I usually think it's the latter that they are thinking. It may not be true, but the scowls really do hurt and make us feel like we are just not welcome anywhere with him. In fact, last week after my cousin's funeral, we all met at my aunts house and we have a HUGE family. It was too much for J and he honestly SCREAMED the entire time. He wouldn't eat, he wouldn't play with the other kids, and he wouldn't just sit on my lap and be comforted. He screamed. The only time he wasn't screaming was when we let him play alone in my brother's truck (outside in the heat), away from all of the noise and the crowd. As we were getting ready to leave, one of my (step) cousins said to me "He is horrible. You have him rotten." WHAT?!?! I almost lost it on her. I was already not in the best mood b/c my cousin (her step brother!!) is gone, and then my son was just on edge the entire day. But I stayed cordial and I simply said "Look, you have no idea, trust me." and I left it at that. Through my experience I've learned that we should never pass judgement on anyone and their situation b/c you have no idea why a person is the way he/she is. I thank God for J. He was not only sent to fill my empty heart, but God sent him here to teach me (and hopefully many others) things that I need to learn while here on earth. Some of the lessons I've learned form him so far are that no one is perfect and that I cannot always strive to be perfect, patience, increased faith, and not to judge. I'm still learning from him each day and I love him for it. My pootie bear :)

I'm getting married...AGAIN!!

A few weeks ago, my husband asked me to marry him again. I thought he was kidding, but he wasn't! He wants to renew our vows on a cruise ship! We've already set the date for July 3, 2010 (our 6 yr anniversary) and the ship will leave out of Mobile, AL, a 7 day cruise. We are waiting until after our trip to Disnay in August to finalize everything. The cruise line offers a vow renewal package and for a very reasonable fee, they will set up a space for the ceremony on the ship, the captain will lead the ceremony, we will get a renewal of vows certificate signed by the captain, there will be ceremony music, a photographer, wedding cake (2- tiered!!), and more! Super exciting!! Our hope is that our parents will join us and renew their vows as well (we all share the same anniversary). My parents seem to be on board and my mom is already planning attire. We will have to work on my husband's parents though b/c his mom is afraid of cruises.

I honestly didn't expect to even be thinking of renewing our vows until at least our 10 or 20 yr anniversary (yes I do plan to stay with him that long, LOL!), but even now, I feel that the vow renewal will be very meaningful and important to us. Some of you may not know, but Hurricane Katrina hit just one month after our very first wedding anniversary. We were still newlyweds and loving every minute of being a married couple. Katrina came and washed it all away. Our memories from when we were just dating, our memories during our first year of marriage, our gifts of love that we received at our wedding, and our house that we turned into a home together. Everything. All we had left were a duffle bag with a weekend worth of clothes and each other. To say that it was stressful would be an understatement. We were without a home for nearly 4 months. We stayed in a hotel for a little over a month and then moved to temporary housing on the Little Rock Air Force base. We were so thankful to be out of the hotel and grateful to have a house to stay in until we were able to find a permanent place to restart our lives, but the house was not in the best condition. They were actually in the process of tearing these houses down b/c they were so old. The one we stayed in was infested with flies. It was BAD. But the peopel there were so nice and accomodating and the help we received from strangers was amaazing. However, through all of that stress, our marriage was affected in ways we hadn't even imagined. We were fussing with each other, blaming each other, and even at times ignoring each other. Eventually we would fall into a place where the new us turned into the norm. Our communication with each other lessened, but we didn't realize this. We stopped eating dinner together b/c for over a month we had no choice but to eat out or to grab dinner at a church. Then once we moved to the base housing, if I cooked, we had to eat on the old couch b/c we didn't have a dining table. It became the new norm for us. Also, prior to Katrina, my husband and I used to get in bed together (at a reasonable time!!) and watch animal planet together. Our favorite show was Animal Cops Houston. Corny, I know, but so us! For the month that we stayed in the hotel, we were glued to CNN and to our phones searching for family and friends. Then at the base housing, we only had the little tv in the living room. This became our new "thing" to do, which really isn't bad, but we never again would lay in bed together and watch animal cops before kissing each other goodnight. So many other things have changed since the storm and it has had an impact on our relationship. One that we failed to realize. But it's there. Things are different. And we both are determined to get that spark back. We feel as though our newlywed lives were snatched away from us by Katrina. We went from being the loving newlywed couple, to being a stressed out newlywed couple, who forgot what life was like before Katrina. It's sad and I can only imagine that the "Katrina divorce rate" is very high b/c of the stress it caused to so many.

Add to that, infertility and military life, and you've got one stressed out newlywed couple. I think the fact that we made it through 5 yrs (in July) together and that he still gives me butterflies in my stomach speaks volumes for our love for one another. My husband retires from the Air Force on Jan 1, 2010. Our house is on the market and we plan to buy our dreamhome in Mandeville, LA. We will be back near the city that we love. We drove through New Orleans and went to metairie on Saturday and my husband was brought back to a happier time when we used to take long walks at Lafreniere Park, or play scrabble until 3 am and then decide that we want to go to Bud's Broiler for a burger. We even drove past our old townhome and reminisced. It was so sweet to see him so happy. He is ready to move back just as bad as I am.

So 2010, for us, will be a new start. We hope to pick up where we left off before Katrina. We know that life often throws us curve balls and we will be prepared for them, but in July 2010, I will be marrying (AGAIN) the man of my dreams and we will relive the newlywed life that was washed away with the storm. Love you baby!

He is risen!!

Happy Easter everyone! It's gonna be just the 3 of us today...for the first time ever, we are spending Easter away from the rest of the family. It just wasn't in the budget (and honestly I didn't really feel up to it) to drive to New Orleans and back and then drive to Destin on Thursday. My parents planned to come out here today, but mom couldn't see all of her patients on time. So here we are and I admit I am a little down about it. We are going to have dinner as a family somewhere today...probably Olive Garden or Outback steakhouse and then we'll come home and have pecan pie for dessert. I'm about to hide some easter eggs around the house for J to find, if he's even interested in that! The weather is really nice, so maybe we can go on the rez and fly a kite with J for the first time!! And take some pictures?? WOOT!! Happy Easter everyone!

This and That...

First of all, Emilie passed away on Christmas Eve. Her services were today and I have not been able to stop thinking of her and her family. Please say a prayer for her family, as they cope with the loss of a mother and a wife.

Christmas for us was very laid back, but I'm so thankful for that! J does not completely understand Christmas yet, anyway, so we didn't feel the need to make a big deal out of getting him loads of gifts this year. He also already has a toybox filled to the reams with toys that he is just now learning to play with, so I couldn't imagine adding more to the mix. We did get him a train table, some trains, and a leapster game that he LOVES...My mom also gave him more trains, so his train collection has grown this past week! So far, he has James, Gordon, Skarloey, Splatter, Lady, Percy, Henry, and Diesel. He also has $75 in giftcards to Walmart so I know he'll want to add more trains to the mix! LOL! I am so glad that everyone else listened to my request and got him either clothes or books this year. We will be moving within the next year so we definitely didn't want to add to the load we will have to carry! He had a great day opening gifts and playing with his trains and he behaved really well. He even started to use three new words, "More" which sounds more like "mUUUUUHHH!", "Open", and "Help". He's also started to say "drink" although it sounds more like "Sway", but I know what he means. I think J is mainly having trouble pronouncing his words, which is why he hardly talks, but he's trying and I'm doing better at listening to him and understanding what it is he wants. As of right now, I am the only person who can understand most of anything that he says. Maybe that's why he's such a momma's boy??

As for me, I have been so exhausted. I am convinced that Lupron is hell in a syringe!! I have been out of commision ever since Christmas morning. It took forever for me to drag myself out of bed. Then on Friday, nothing I did could wake me up and I felt like crap. I kept having hot flashes and sweating through all of my tops, so we just packed up and came home so I could at least try to be comfortable. HA!! That was a joke! There was no getting comfortable for me. I kept having the hot flashes and needing to change my shirt and I cannot sleep, even though I'm DEAD tired!! And once I finally get to sleep, I have another darn hot flash and soak through my shirt and have to wake up and change. And then spend the next hour or so counting to try and fall alseep. Yeah...last night I think I counted to 3,499 and then I just stopped, but I wasn't asleep yet! UGH! My appt to check on the cyst was this morning and the cyst is definitely smaller and almost completely gone. So I didn't need another injection...PRAISE GOD!! Now I just have to wait until the rest of the drug is out of my system. I can't wait to get my energy back. I have so much on my to do list, including editing a photo shoot and then a newborn shoot at the end of this week!

So, Thursday is the big day. We will find out whether or not my husband can retire from the Air Force. He is very anxious and I know NYE will be spent sitting at home, watching the clock and making sure there are no issues with our internet connection b/c at 12:01am, Jan 1, my husband wants to try and submit his retirement paperwork. If it doesn't work from our home computer, he will go into the office later that morning to submit. We are prepared for whatever comes at us, but of course, we would be so happy if he could just retire and be done with the military.