Tuesday, May 31, 2011
That picture up there?? That's our future baby. And that baby is growing in MY uterus!!! Nope, we didn't run off and have IVF done (although we were (hoping) planning to make a trip the DC in June to begin the process). Nope, I didn't convince my RE to place me on fertility meds again. Not even hormone therapy. Nothing! After the Drs told us that our chances to conceive without medical intervention were slim to none, we started to save our funds for IVF but still held on to hope that God would bless us when we least expected it. Well, we waited patiently for years (nearly 7 to be exact, but who's counting??), and on April 29 we got the surprise of our lives!!
That entire week, I was feeling like I was coming down with something but I couldn't put my finger on it b/c the sick feeling was only coming in waves. I was thinking maybe it was test anxiety b/c my finals were approaching quickly. I was also extremely moody and my patience was getting very short with the kiddos at work, which is just not like me at all (I love my babies!!). I had strange cravings for mac n cheese and once I'd fix myself some I would feel extremely sick after just 3 or 4 bites. Then I had this feeling of always being short of breath. Almost like panic attacks. Then, as usual, when I realize that my period is approaching I start psyching myself into believing I'm pregnant. But this time I felt like it could actually be real b/c even though Mike and I did absolutely nothing different, my body was different that month and we both noticed it. So, after swearing to never take another pregnancy test ever again (the last one I ever took was in 2006) b/c it was like a waste of money to me since they were always negative, I decided to stop at CVS and grab a cheap pregnancy test just for the heck of it. I totally expected nothing other than a negative result and I told myself, at least it would stop me from believing I'm pregnant and then getting my feelings hurt when AF arrived. So I got home with my cheapie test and went upstairs to pee. I read the results and immediately saw the FAINTEST of a line. I blinked and looked again. Took off my glasses, put them back on...still saw the line. "No way." I said to myself. This test must be defective... I decided to show Mike and ask him what he saw. He has never seen a pregnancy test before (what's the use of showing him a negative test, and that's all we have ever had). I asked him to tell me what he saw in both circles. He said he saw one line in one circle and a plus sign in the other circle. I said "OH MY GOD." Mike asked what it meant and I told him it meant "positive". His face lit up but I said "No please don't get excited! I think it's a bad test. I'm going to go out and get another one to be sure b/c this can't be real." So I ran out to Walgreens and got a first response test. Came home and went upstairs again. This time, Mike and Jayden were waiting in the room for me. After a few minutes, I came out of the bathroom with this:
The only thing I remember saying at first was "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!!" Then I started crying and saying "WE DID IT!!! FINALLY WE DID IT!!" Jayden was concerned at my tears and said "What's wrong Mommy??" I said it's ok baby Mommy is happy!! Then I went back in the bathroom to let my tears pour down and I thanked God over and over and over again. I am still thanking him everyday all day, honestly. All of my plans to make a "surprise" announcement went completely out of the window. I mean, we had been planning this surprise announcement and how it would all play out for 7 yrs now. If I'm being honest, we just never truly expected it to ever be our turn. I had a dinner date with a good friend of mine so I called her, whispering hysterically (didn't even know that was possible!?!) into the phone, "OMG, I'M F'ing PREGNANT!!!" She was like are you serious?!?! OMG!! She came right over and saw my test and started crying! My mom's reaction was not the same though. LOL! I called her and asked her and my dad to stop at our house before they left for their little date night. She came over and I said "I have to show you something." I gave her my pregnancy test (it was in a ziploc bag!!) and she looked at it and said "Awww, one line is too light so you're not pregnant." :( I said, "Momma, actually if I wasn't pregnant it would only be one line. You wouldn't see any trace of a second line at all. The lighter line just means my levels are still on the low side b/c it's very early." There I just told her I was pregnant. Mom still didn't get it!! LOL! She was still over analyzing the color of the lines and making me show her the directions and the pictures on the box of the pregnancy test. I think she was in shock. Then all of a sudden she's screaming!! My dad walked in and he immediately knew what was up :) Hugs and tears all around! The nest morning, I took a digital just for good measure:
Unbelievable! Seriously, I didn't believe until we saw that little heartbeat just beating away on the ultrasound today. It was so strong and the sound made my heart skip a beat. I actually have another little heart beating inside of my body right now! I am in awe. I've already been extremely ill so far and my Dr said that's good news b/c it means everything is normal and growing and the ultrasound proved such b/c baby is right where we expected it to be, at 8 weeks :) I have a prescription for Zofran and I'm hoping to get my appetite back soon and be able to return to work soon enough to enjoy the rest of summer with the kids at camp.
Jayden is VERY excited. He points to my stomach and tells me that the baby is in there and he takes such good care of me when I'm sick. Sometimes my husband has to pull Jayden away from the bathroom b/c Jayden is a super helpful "Dr" when mommy is sick. He also can sit quietly for minutes at a time, looking through the baby magazines I got from the Dr. I think he is going to be a wonderful big brother!
BTW: His camp counselors made a huge mistake during his very first week of camp and someone served him something with gluten in it. He's been having a terrible reaction to it for a week now. This past weekend, his entire stomach was completely covered in a rash and it was painful and swollen. It seems like the worse is over and I'm sending him back to camp tomorrow with strict orders that he is watched at all times during lunch and he won't be staying there for snack time since I'm not working right now and I can pick him up early. Please pray that they pay closer attention and he is not exposed to gluten again. He loves camp but I won't keep him there if it isn't safe for him.