Coming up for air

Wooo!! Life with 2 kids, school, work, etc!! It's hard, y'all! I honestly think I've got too much on my plate, but at this point there's not much I'm willing to let go of. It's a struggle. First of all, my kids are staying. I hope no one was questioning that ;) I only have one year until I graduate and get my degree in Psychology. I would hate to push it aside when I'm so close to my goal. I'm taking online courses and so many people think it's just so easy. Trust me when I tell you it's so much HARDER than going on campus. Take in to account all of the written work that must be done. It took lots of focus on my end to not write this blog post in APA format :facepalm: The courses are fast paced. We have a live seminar once a week, but it's still difficult to understand certain things and then it's just you and google struggling to understand. And what I didn't expect to feel was guilt...I strive to be a very involved parent with both Jayden and Elias. It kills me to be on the computer at anytime if either of them is awake. My plan, initially, was to do the majority of my school work during the day while Jayden was at school and during Elias' naptime. The only problem with that is that Elias has never been a consistent napper. As soon as I think he's got a schedule, he switches it up on me. He does well playing in the loft while I do work, but my guilt consumes me and I feel like I need to be on the floor playing with him instead of having my back turned to him on the computer. Once Jayden gets off the bus, then it's all go go go for me. Homework, bathtime, dinner...My friend made a comment that it's time for my husband to pitch in more. I really hope she doesn't think that he would just sit there and just watch me do all of the above? He works and doesn't get home until 6:30 in the evenings, by which time I have to have most everything done so they can be in bed on time. He does bedtime stories and such and trust me when I say that's a huge help. I appreciate him for going to work everyday to allow me to be there for our kids. He pitches in just fine ;) By the time they are in bed, though, I'm spent. Sometimes my brain is just fried and school work is the last thing I can focus on.

Work? Which job? Full time mom, housekeeper, cook, childcare worker, Scentsy consultant, photographer. Photography was the first thing to be pushed aside because I truly do not have the time needed to commit to the business. I will always be a full time mom, housekeeper, and cook. Scentsy is fine because I make my own schedule and do as little or as much as I please. I could afford to leave my job at the gym childcare, but I'm so attached to those kids that it would break my heart. I seriously only go like 8-12 hours a week just to keep me active and to socialize Elias, but some days those few hours can really throw a wrench in my daily plans. Despite all of that, I've managed to maintain a 4.0 in school so somehow I'm making it work and my kids are healthy and happy. So about those kids...

Jayden is everything a 6 yr old boy is supposed to be! Active, loud, smart, funny, and a gamer. He's come so far since the first day of kindergarten and I'm extremely impressed with him. His handwriting is fantastic. He's reading words, but we're working on comprehension. He knows all of his colors and all of his alphabet (no he did NOT know these when he started kinder. This is a skill he lost after his vaccine injury). We are working on learning his address and phone number. The phone number is weird b/c it's going to be my cell phone number, but whatever. They reported that he doesn't know his birthday but he's known his birthday for 3 years now, they just can't understand him. His behavior has improved by leaps and bounds. He wants to impress. His daily notes each day always say that he had a great day. No changes :) However, yeaterday there was a SN that said "very obsessed with zombies???" Um, yeah, I had the same ??? on my face because that's news to me. I am aware that in group activities, Jayden is slower to pick up the rules and sometimes his impulsivity causes him to just want to "get on with it" and forget the rules. So he loves any games that don't require rules. Well one day he was playing with some little boys at the gym and they were simply running around the playground chasing each other and making monster noises. They called the game "zombies". This was a few months ago. I noticed that anytime he's with a group of boys he wants to play "zombies" and they play with him. However, he is not at home playing zombies with his toys, he's not asking for zombie toys, he doesn't draw zombies, he doesn't talk about zombies, he doesn't dream about zombies...I just don't think he's obsessed??? I really wonder what's going on at school that makes his teacher think that he's obsessed. We have an IEP meeting on the 18th, so I plan to ask then but I did send her a note explaining that I know he plays a game called zombies where they are just running around chasing each other. I wrote in the letter that I wasn't aware that it had become an obsession. In fact, I wonder if he even knows what a zombie is... Now if she to,d me he was obsessed with super heroes, I'd have to agree. He dresses like super heroes, he plays super heroes with his toys, he begs for super hero video games, he talks about super heroes. I'd say that's an obsession??? But whatever. He's thriving and I'm not getting the daily phone calls like I was last school year.

And then there's the other little boy! Little, sweet Elias. 14 months of teeny baby boy. He's barely leaning the scale to 20 lbs. Sweet as can be, very timid just as I was as a baby, but he does have a temper like his daddy. He started walking on his 14 month bday but is still very careful about that and will crawl to get where he needs to be quicker. He says so many words and phrases, "Thank you" being my favorite. He has the sweetest voice. He loves to sing and dance. He loves to push around cars. He loves to bounce and roll balls. He LOVES LOVES LOVES Jayden! He dances and kicks in my arms when the bus pulls up and screams "JAYDEN!!!" He's doing great health wise. He does have reactive airway disease, which is probably going to become a diagnosis of asthma, but we're controlling it with diet right now. He hasn't needed albuterol and pulmicort for about 2 months now. He's a joy, for sure.

I'm going to try my best to remember this blog is still here! I love having these post to go back down memory lane :)